What's Marriage nowadays anyway?

Sometime ago I found the man of my dreams. He is very affectionate, he writes love letters and sends texts, he's caring and considerate, he's a family man, deeply family oriented. Great father to my first daughter and to his twins. Considering all these things it was easy to make the plunge into the unknown of marriage.

I've had some great examples to follow, from my parents who recently celebrated their 25th anniversary to classmates from the Queen's School who are young and saved and doing the darn thing. My husband and I had vowed to always keep our feelings in the open, even at the risk of hurting each others feelings. And it's really worked for us so far. I came up with the idea through hearing many complaints from girlfriends about issues they were having in their various relationships. Yet I was the only person who was aware other than them. This didn't make much sense since I wasn't in the relationship with them. This made my advice giving role easier to manage, all I told them was, "so tell him." I've seen infidelity and break ups from this very same reason. If he never knows how you feel about something, how can he work toward fixing it?

Many women however confuse "letting him know" with "nagging him to death." This is more than a subtle difference. Telling him once and then mentioning it once more sometime into the future if you see no change is a far cry different from telling him two hours per day everyday. THAT'S nagging! Come on ladies, he heard you the first time. What happens after that is completely up to you. Do you stay and nag? Stay and wait it out patiently? Or do you leave because you finally realise, if he was for you, cared about you AND your feelings then he would work towards making and keeping you happy.

My husband and I have had our scrapes, there are gentle prods and all out monster truck shoves. Somehow we manage to come out on top. I think its as a result of our mutual goal, to be happy, to remain so till death do us part and to set a life altering example for our kids to take into their own marriages someday.

The divorce rate is staggering and mostly I believe we lose sight of why we wanted to get married in the first place. We give up too easily and we never set ground rules to begin with. There are some marriages that shouldn't have even begun in the first place, but, consider them well learnt lessons. I wish all newly weds and veterans more love, more peace and even more communication as we round out our time here on earth with our partners. All the best ya'll.

Has it been a year already?

My children all recently celebrated their birthdays. The twin's birthday was the 10th and Shy Fry celebrated hers on the 17th. So Naturally with the dates being so close, I planned ONE (1) extravagant party. I toyed with the idea as early as September. Made contact with those really good friends of mine who I know I could depend on to contribute willingly to this process. I then called on God-parents to fill in those gaps.



This party was to be the party of parties!! It was to surpass anything Shylah had enjoyed previously. I always knew my kids would have parties for their birthdays. As a child I can remember a few, and for those I cannot recall, my mother brags ocassionally on how many there have been. Why should my child(ren) experience any less?





The only birthday which fell short for Shylah was her fourth. This was the same time as the birth of the twins. Being emotionally and physically drained did not make me the best events planner. Somehow, those good friends of mine came through once more. Michele Gray, Shylah's God-mother, provided the cake, I wrapped the gifts I had previously begged and proceeded to decorate my mother's kitchen. It was immediate family only so I didn't need that much space.


This year's party I dubbed "3-in-1" And it was a blast. Special shout outs to Juileen Baker, Teresa Martinez, Sasha Dixon, Kenesha Miller-Simpson, Horace Reid, and especially Nicole Strachan. I shopped for the loot bags with her and I only hosted the event, pretty much. Thanks to Georgette for dressing the kids right before the party. (Like I said, I hardly did anything.)





There was face painting, sandwiches, hot dogs, fruit juice, cake, ice-cream, and let's not forget the all important bounce about. We had street races for prizes, games and competitions. Kidz Bop collection blared through the air and it was F-U-N. The pictures came out ok, allowing my kids, way down the line to see the effort put into giving them a memorable time.



 I still can't believe it's been a year. One whole year. Twelve full months. Fifty-two weeks????? They're talking, walking, running and pulling down items from furniture. They call to strangers as they pass the house. Follow Shylah to an fro, make believe read books and colour pages. Just a ball having them around. Shylah is reading, much better than last year, her math is on point and spelling has improved dramatically. She still watches Nick Jr. and dances to anything musical. Bright, happy kids I have I tell ya.

Home Work Time

I wanted to encourage my other mothers to make time for homework. After nine hours on the job; Staring at the monitor, writing up motorcycles, fielding all types of calls, football training, stretching, warming up and cooling down, then the treacherous evening commute, the last thing Gariece and I want to do is look into Shylah's book.

After her very first year at basic school I realised that the teachers will not all be the same. They will not all have the passion most of my teachers had, while I was growing up. I realised that the onus then resigned with me to get my child where I wanted her to go. Being that was the top, I had to make time to review and practice items from her syllabus.

Shylah is a naturally bright child, so my work wasn't as cut out as I had originally feared. I really was scared that she was slow, even dunce. She just wasn't producing as I expected her to by the time she got to class two. So I just assumed, because she was slow, the teachers couldn't be bothered to spend that extra time with her. First we started out by just helping her with the homework. I went on Ladybird's website and did my own research from there. I printed key words for us to practice. Bought the reading books for her and in a matter of weeks Shylah was reading at a grade 1 level. (She gets that from her mama!)

Next step we challenged her with a little advanced stuff, not too much to overwhelm her nor make her bored when that text was actually being taught in class. I learnt this tip from my very good friend, Michelle Silvera, who is a teacher by trade and personality. She pointed out that if she's reading the text at home, when she gets to class, having done it already, would be bored and then distracted. Great Tip! I can testify, Gariece and I've seen loads of improvement since taking this stand.


 Here are my suggestions: Start with just homework. Time yourself to say 10 minutes each evening. Fight the fatigue and tiredness; I promise as soon as you start it'll wear off anyways. As you become more used to the idea, go a little bit longer, say 20 minutes. Incorporate new words and spelling. There are tons of practice sheets for counting, additions etc. on the web. Free and printable. What more could you ask for?
A good rep with your child's teacher is also paramount. She can guide your evening sessions to best improve your child's outlook at school work and their ability to accomplish. Now that I know the requirements for Shylah to become her graduating class' "Girl of the year" the homework sessions 'tun up.' All the best, hope this helps.

Truly BLESSED with Twins

"Ask and you shall receive" Indeed this is true and here's my proof. When I found out I was pregnant with twins,  I was a nervous wreck. On the outside I was the picture of calm, my inside however, was a tornado of anxiety and worry. Not only were twins considered a handful and double the attention and care, they're survival rate was significantly lower than having singles. Multiples are known for either arriving prematurely, being born underweight, not being developed completely. In some rare cases, one twin "eats" the other. This is where one twin gets everything, all the minerals, nutrients and vitamins, that mommy ingests, leaving twin two to pretty much wither away. Don't forget the Siamese twins, God forbid they're joined at the head, much less ANYwhere for that matter. I never wanted IDENTICAL twins, I wanted two individuals, two different faces, personalities and separate genders would be a plus.

My constant, fervent prayer while I was pregnant was
1. Please let them come FULL term. 
2. Please let them me OVER 6.5 lbs. [average twin weight was 5lbs.] 
3. Please let them be FULLY developed, sight hearing etc. 
4. Please let them be individuals, dissimilar features.

Well my due date, based on ultrasound and physical examination, was for November 10th. For the first seven months of my pregnancy, I didn't enjoy food, not even fast food. I ate tons of vitamins [courtesy of Sasha Dixon] and they did nothing towards my appetite, they did help however in developing awesome kids. [Get to that later] I drank soda [my only vice]and water.  During the last trimester, my appetite returned with a vengeance and I tried to eat everything in sight. Just trying to play catchup to the seven months I hadn't been eating for and basically trying to up the babies' weight to at least 7lbs.

During my second ultrasound, I discovered that I had separate babies in separate bags [ALWAYS A PLUS] this meant, one baby couldn't steal the other's nutrients, that they wouldn't be identical and that I could have natural birth, no cut pan me pretty belly. I also found out that there WAS a little boy in there in addition to another little girl. {#4}[Blessed I tell you.]

I made it [and attended work, no less] all through October, my prayers were already answered in my opinion. If I had baby November 1st, I'd have been happy, two weeks shy of my due date was far better than two months shy, you feel me?? My next clinic date was November 10th, my due date. On the 9th I urged Dariece, [my wonderful husband] to have rough sex with me. WHAT?? All of you are grown, suck it up! I even drank that Red Stripe beer I had been eying in Denese's fridge. I asked Gariece again to repeat what he had done earlier.

At 9:30 am on the 10th of November my doctor exclaims, "but wait, you did know you already dilated 5cm??" {#1}I was ECSTATIC!! Nothing could have made my day any better. At about 11:30 am after registering, having Gariece drop off my suitcase, wishing me good luck and beginning my countdown, I was given meds to speed up the process. By 1:30 pm me a scream fe me mada, fe Jesus, fe God, fe de chorus of angels, fe de doctor, fe Barney, fe Big bird, anybody wha me think couldan help me.

Thirty-eight minutes later at 2:08 pm I had successfully [pushed] given birth to two healthy babies, GJ weighed 6.5 lbs and Angelique weighed 6.9lbs. {#2} Both had all the necessary appendages. All toes and fingers, two nipples, two eyes, a fully developed heart, no holes etc. Absolutely perfect. {#3} I am truly blessed and so are my kids.

Being a Mother is an Ungrateful Job

Today the babies are 7 months old. Angelique is doing more talking than walking, not holding her bottle, fighting GJ and blabbering like a mix-up-drama-queen. Cooing none stop. GJ is also a little blabber mouth. He's standing without holding on [for a few seconds], holding on and walking confidently, holding his own bottle, grabbing your hand whilst your trying to spoon feed him and laughs when you blow raspberries in his neck. Shylah is reading different books, learning new words outside of her curriculum, eating yogurt, fruits and more vegetables. She's getting amped for Summer School because this one is gonna teach her how to swim. My kids are loved, blessed and privileged.

Sunday was my birthday and none of them damn kids told me happy birthday. It was when I called Michele Gray-Kuhlen that Shylah asked: "Mommy, today's your birthday fe true? So where's the cake? How you nah've no party?" All now she nuh say: "Happy birthday Mommy, Love you." The twins worse, who not crying for feeding, crying to be picked up or changed. Neither Angelique nor Gariece Jr. wished me a "happy birthday. Ungrateful little brats!! LOLOLOLOLOL I gest. My children are quite affectionate, when they want "lovey dovey," lawks...it's all the world to me, they giggle and kiss you back and squeeze your neck and drool on your face. Come on tell me, What gets better than that??

While I'm on this subject: Didn't I have a disturbing pregnancy? I spat, I was constantly nauseated, I had no appetite, I had terrible acid indigestion, I, I, I,I, I, .....you name it, I probably experienced it, so can someone PLEASE tell me, why now when Angelique wants to talk, she's saying: "Dada, Daddy, Daddy, dada?" Gimme a break man!! SERIOUSLY!!!! Mama can't get no love???All Daddy ever did Angelique, was rub my tummy and say, "Wha gwaan Gariece, daddy son?" Him neva business bout you tan deh!!!!


Then Shylah is the other one, after making demands like this one: She brings an empty water bottle and shakes it in my face. I ask, "what is it Shylah?" She responds, one hand akimbo on her non-existent hip, head slightly tilted to one side, "there's no water in here, I need water so that when I go to school and I get thirsty I can drink it," she rests the bottle on the desk and continues, "I'm putting it right here so you hear?? So that when you finish you can put the water in there so I can put it in my lunch pan." after her regular tirades like this ,she really can't remember to wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY??? But a me first belly pain, so me forgive her and she is really my Mini Me. My kids are awesome, I promise you.

Much Needed and Well Deserved Vacation

My vacation was sweeeeeet!!! I really thought I'd have difficulty sleeping through the night, what with my abhorrent sleeping patterns breastfeeding twins at night. Much to my pleasant surprise, I slept like a log. As in I doubt I even rolled to change positions, much less to use the loo. HA!!!

I ate to my heart's content and my gigantic tetas didn't fill up and get engorged. I drank plent of water and didn't have an embarrassing leaking episode once. I FULLjoyed my vacation, my time away from mommying everyone in my home, including my hubby was nothing but sheer bliss.

That elated sense of independence came to an end the very MOMENT I stepped into the doorway of my little apartment! I had an emotional breakdown. All my womanly hormones and stupid female sensitivity came crashing down on me. How in heavens did I survive FIVE (5) whole days without my kids???? [bad mommy.] If I could have bawled right there and then, I would have. I missed my Shy Fry banana chips, missed the comforting cooing noises of my Mootsie Chootsie Angelique and the grown up laughter from my washbelly Tootisie-Chicarito GJ. I missed the late talks that run into the midnight with my hubby, Gariece Sr. The chaos of feeding, burping, changing, tickling, nurturing and scolding that comes with being a mother of three.

My kids, they didn't disappoint me one bit, for every overwhelming feeling I experienced, I guess they were going through it too, cause my first night home they DID GIVE IT TO ME. One bag a chatting, cooing, laughing and they took the longest while to fall asleep on their own. {I believe in self-soothing} As though slumber would rob them of their mom, whom they've just been reunited with. Poor babies. I couldn't do that again [not so soon anyways] Mommy missed you guys just as much.

Fatigue Much?

As a mother of three and a hard-working wife [I take my job seriously] there are plenty of times when I feel overwhelmed and tired. My sleep hours have been GREATLY diminished. There are times I just want to crawl under the bed, let alone the covers. Having twins is a great show-piece, not so great when they wake alternately. As soon as your through breastfeeding Angelique at 1:30am and dose off, here comes the wailing from a hungry GJ at 2:15am. Especially now, when they are both teething, have lost their appetites, appear to be in constant pain and are continuously miserable, it's easy to experience a break down.

I'm looking forward to a break, a vacation of sorts, where I can sleep uninterrupted for eight, no, make that nine hours; not whip my titties out every three to four hours. A break from bouncing babies on knees, wiping drool, burping, braiding hair, lulling to sleep etc. [you get where I'm going with this] I know I sound selfish right now, but I feel I'm entitled to sounding this way. Though we asked for kids, we sacrifice a lot to ensure they are happy, fed, and burped. Sleep is one of them, so EXCCUUUUUSSSEEE me for wanting nine hours of sleep.

I can tell you one thing for sure. A lot of abusive parents, even if they were abused themselves, if they had help: with their own kids and psychologically, the abuse wouldn't perpetuate. Stress is the catalyst for many a negative things. So imagine an abused mother feeling the strains of a cryng, teething toddler and being alone to handle all that stress....... Whenever I see where Gariece Sr. is feeling agitated, I send him away, or I take the kids up to my mom's house. Or I call in his mom to stay a few days. I don't want him to snap at the babies nor me [cause me'll answer him] and I couldn't imagine him running off and disappearing out of our lives. [yea, I'm a drama queen so what?]

I do wanna encourage the other parents reading my blog, to take time out for you, and for your hubby [if you're blessed to have 1] Makes no sense in driving yourself to the edge and being unable to pull yourself back.