Being a Mother is an Ungrateful Job

Today the babies are 7 months old. Angelique is doing more talking than walking, not holding her bottle, fighting GJ and blabbering like a mix-up-drama-queen. Cooing none stop. GJ is also a little blabber mouth. He's standing without holding on [for a few seconds], holding on and walking confidently, holding his own bottle, grabbing your hand whilst your trying to spoon feed him and laughs when you blow raspberries in his neck. Shylah is reading different books, learning new words outside of her curriculum, eating yogurt, fruits and more vegetables. She's getting amped for Summer School because this one is gonna teach her how to swim. My kids are loved, blessed and privileged.

Sunday was my birthday and none of them damn kids told me happy birthday. It was when I called Michele Gray-Kuhlen that Shylah asked: "Mommy, today's your birthday fe true? So where's the cake? How you nah've no party?" All now she nuh say: "Happy birthday Mommy, Love you." The twins worse, who not crying for feeding, crying to be picked up or changed. Neither Angelique nor Gariece Jr. wished me a "happy birthday. Ungrateful little brats!! LOLOLOLOLOL I gest. My children are quite affectionate, when they want "lovey dovey," lawks...it's all the world to me, they giggle and kiss you back and squeeze your neck and drool on your face. Come on tell me, What gets better than that??

While I'm on this subject: Didn't I have a disturbing pregnancy? I spat, I was constantly nauseated, I had no appetite, I had terrible acid indigestion, I, I, I,I, I, .....you name it, I probably experienced it, so can someone PLEASE tell me, why now when Angelique wants to talk, she's saying: "Dada, Daddy, Daddy, dada?" Gimme a break man!! SERIOUSLY!!!! Mama can't get no love???All Daddy ever did Angelique, was rub my tummy and say, "Wha gwaan Gariece, daddy son?" Him neva business bout you tan deh!!!!


Then Shylah is the other one, after making demands like this one: She brings an empty water bottle and shakes it in my face. I ask, "what is it Shylah?" She responds, one hand akimbo on her non-existent hip, head slightly tilted to one side, "there's no water in here, I need water so that when I go to school and I get thirsty I can drink it," she rests the bottle on the desk and continues, "I'm putting it right here so you hear?? So that when you finish you can put the water in there so I can put it in my lunch pan." after her regular tirades like this ,she really can't remember to wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY??? But a me first belly pain, so me forgive her and she is really my Mini Me. My kids are awesome, I promise you.

Much Needed and Well Deserved Vacation

My vacation was sweeeeeet!!! I really thought I'd have difficulty sleeping through the night, what with my abhorrent sleeping patterns breastfeeding twins at night. Much to my pleasant surprise, I slept like a log. As in I doubt I even rolled to change positions, much less to use the loo. HA!!!

I ate to my heart's content and my gigantic tetas didn't fill up and get engorged. I drank plent of water and didn't have an embarrassing leaking episode once. I FULLjoyed my vacation, my time away from mommying everyone in my home, including my hubby was nothing but sheer bliss.

That elated sense of independence came to an end the very MOMENT I stepped into the doorway of my little apartment! I had an emotional breakdown. All my womanly hormones and stupid female sensitivity came crashing down on me. How in heavens did I survive FIVE (5) whole days without my kids???? [bad mommy.] If I could have bawled right there and then, I would have. I missed my Shy Fry banana chips, missed the comforting cooing noises of my Mootsie Chootsie Angelique and the grown up laughter from my washbelly Tootisie-Chicarito GJ. I missed the late talks that run into the midnight with my hubby, Gariece Sr. The chaos of feeding, burping, changing, tickling, nurturing and scolding that comes with being a mother of three.

My kids, they didn't disappoint me one bit, for every overwhelming feeling I experienced, I guess they were going through it too, cause my first night home they DID GIVE IT TO ME. One bag a chatting, cooing, laughing and they took the longest while to fall asleep on their own. {I believe in self-soothing} As though slumber would rob them of their mom, whom they've just been reunited with. Poor babies. I couldn't do that again [not so soon anyways] Mommy missed you guys just as much.

Fatigue Much?

As a mother of three and a hard-working wife [I take my job seriously] there are plenty of times when I feel overwhelmed and tired. My sleep hours have been GREATLY diminished. There are times I just want to crawl under the bed, let alone the covers. Having twins is a great show-piece, not so great when they wake alternately. As soon as your through breastfeeding Angelique at 1:30am and dose off, here comes the wailing from a hungry GJ at 2:15am. Especially now, when they are both teething, have lost their appetites, appear to be in constant pain and are continuously miserable, it's easy to experience a break down.

I'm looking forward to a break, a vacation of sorts, where I can sleep uninterrupted for eight, no, make that nine hours; not whip my titties out every three to four hours. A break from bouncing babies on knees, wiping drool, burping, braiding hair, lulling to sleep etc. [you get where I'm going with this] I know I sound selfish right now, but I feel I'm entitled to sounding this way. Though we asked for kids, we sacrifice a lot to ensure they are happy, fed, and burped. Sleep is one of them, so EXCCUUUUUSSSEEE me for wanting nine hours of sleep.

I can tell you one thing for sure. A lot of abusive parents, even if they were abused themselves, if they had help: with their own kids and psychologically, the abuse wouldn't perpetuate. Stress is the catalyst for many a negative things. So imagine an abused mother feeling the strains of a cryng, teething toddler and being alone to handle all that stress....... Whenever I see where Gariece Sr. is feeling agitated, I send him away, or I take the kids up to my mom's house. Or I call in his mom to stay a few days. I don't want him to snap at the babies nor me [cause me'll answer him] and I couldn't imagine him running off and disappearing out of our lives. [yea, I'm a drama queen so what?]

I do wanna encourage the other parents reading my blog, to take time out for you, and for your hubby [if you're blessed to have 1] Makes no sense in driving yourself to the edge and being unable to pull yourself back.